I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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