I'm going to jail i love you
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize