The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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