This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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