Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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