from now on my penis is your penis
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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