used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize