I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dick very happy bro
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize