I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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