Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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