sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Congratulations! We have a period
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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