peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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