No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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