my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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