and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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