ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize