So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
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yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize