I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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