i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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