remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize