he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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