"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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