would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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