guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
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i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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