His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize