if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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