i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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