Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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