You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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