How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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