i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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