Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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