He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize