I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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