I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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