Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize