Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize