Ambien. No doubt about it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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