well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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