Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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