I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im holly from the hills drunk
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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