i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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