He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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