Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize