I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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