I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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