lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
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We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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