I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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