I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize