I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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